hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
