he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
