Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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