so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
