I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
