How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
