I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
