No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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