peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
