Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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