if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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