Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
