Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
