I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
