Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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