in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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