Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
