I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
