Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
