i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
