Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
