It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
