So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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