There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
