I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Where did you get a picture of my penis
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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