We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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