How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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