and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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