Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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