you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
