plz talk dirty to me
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
