A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
