Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
