Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The struggles of a small town man whore
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
