My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
