after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
