The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
