how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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