yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
