But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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