I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
