I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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