Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
