Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
