im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
