He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
