i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
