I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
