True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
