I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
