Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
